- He has served as best man for grooms he's never met.
- He strongly abides by the motto: "Safety third."
- His garden maze is responsible for more missing persons than the Bermuda Triangle.
- Even watching him sleep has been described as breathtaking.
- He's never needed lip balm.
- He went to a psychic once...to warn her.
- His shirts never wrinkle.
- He is left-handed. And right-handed.
- Even if he forgets to put postage on his mail, it gets there.
- He once knew a call was a wrong number, even though the person on the other end wouldn't admit it.
- You can see his charisma from space.
- Signs that say "This is not an exit" do not apply to him.
- If he rides with you in your car, its resale value will instantly increase.
- If he passed you on the street you would still feel stopped and said hello and asked you about your day.
- If you were trapped with him in an elevator, you wouldn't want to be saved.
- His business card just says, "I'll call you."
- The Mayans prophecized his birth.
- Even lucha libres remove their masks in his presence.
- He once taught a German Shepard to bark in Spanish.
- He serves sizzling fajita platters barehanded.
- Bulls flat-out refuse to fight him.
